Grading Endless Papers!

So as a TA, I was given the responsibility of grading 100 quizzes! These quizzes have been such a pain to grade and it's a shame that this is how I am spending the first minutes of my bday : ( I'm so tired and have so much to accomplish this week, including a test on Thursday. I have to present a review on a journal article tomorrow for lab meeting. Didn't even have time to study for my exam today. I'm celebrating my bday on Thursday because of my exam Thursday...blah blah blah

Moral of the story: I need a break before I go insane!!!!!!!!!

Updates:

12:27a (10/7 aka my bday): why can't college students write their names legibly!! and how do you forget to put your name on your paper...*SMH*!!!

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My First Lecture!

So as a graduate student, I am required to be a teacher's assistant (TA) for one of my advisor's classes. When I did this last year, I was only required to really help out with the labs, grade papers, and the lectures were done by the professor. Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was sent an urgent email saying that my advisor was going out of town and he needed someone to teach his class...2 days later! The senior graduate students in my lab were going to be busy, so guess who got slammed with the responsibility...yes, MOI! Little ol' me that shies away from public speaking at all costs (especially in front of large audiences)!

Well, I had no choice really, so I sucked it up and confirmed with my advisor that I'd be able to teach is 100 student class! He sent me a copy of his notes for the class, which were of course only 3 pages long full of diagrams (because experienced professors can just talk from the top of her head and be 100% correct...most of the times hehe). I knew that wasn't going to fly for me though, so I went through and rewrote my own personal notes, reminded myself of some of the details of some concepts, and tried to prepare myself for any potential questions the students would ask.

On the day of the class, I reminded myself that I had a B.S. degree already in Materials Science & Engineering and these kids could not boast the same...therefore I was the AUTHORITY,lol! That made me feel a bit better going in. My dad joked and said if some student tried to show off and ask a question that made him feel smart and wanted to challenge...that I could bust out with something TOTALLY over his head...which I could certainly do after taking courses like (Crystallography, Structure & Defects), Thermodynamics of Materials, Kinetics of Phase Transformations, Advanced Biomaterials, Polymer Characterization...you get the idea,lol.

Well to my surprise, as soon as opened my mouth and began to teach, I felt at ease and really enjoyed explaining the concepts, writing on the board, and answering the questions of the students! When I went in, I didn't think I would have enough material, but near the end of the class, I found I could have spoken for another 15 minutes or so. What really encouraged me was when students seem to be nodding their heads when I was explaining something, or when a student would say, Oh okay I get it now , after answering their questions. One of the undergrad students that I did know, after class came up and told me that I did a really great job of explaining the material and that everything was clear. SUCCESS!!

I am really excited I had that opportunity, and it has reopened to me the possibility of going into academia and teaching once I complete my Ph.D. I still don't think my ultimate goal would be to become a tenured professor though. I want to teach just for a while and ultimately be working in industry. I'm a very practical person that way but I would love to help inspire and teach those behind me! We shall see...

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I passed!!!

All I can say is Thank You Jesus!! I passed my Ph.D. qualifying exam on Monday and now I am an official Ph.D. Candidate!! Woohooooo!! : )

So there were three faculty members on my qualifying exam committee, all of whom I had never had a conversation/class with before. When I met them in the room, they seemed to be friendly, so that put me at ease before I started presenting. I must say though that the third committee member was VERY TARDY! I was supposed to start presenting at 1pm, but didn't get to that till about 1:30p!!

My presentation was about 30 min. long and I was too excited about using my newly purchased laser pointer that day, lol! I was also loving the fact that I could advance my powerpoint slides using my macbook remote. Yay for Apple! : )

After my presentation, the "grilling" began. In the beginning, I found the questions to be very simple to handle, but it didn't take too long for them to get harder exponentially,lol! One member of my committee had a background in chemistry and he definitely took it there! I definitely felt like after his questions that I probably needed a refresher course in organic chemistry! Overall, they really were looking to test the limits of my knowledge and I could feel it! When they would ask a question and I knew right offhand that I didn't know the answer, I had to force myself to open my mouth and start thinking out loud! They were really interested in understanding my thinking pattern.

Well once the questioning was through, I was dismissed from the room for about 7 min. When they welcomed me back, this is what went down:

Professor A: Well we are going to send you something formal later but overall we had no problems with your presentation. You did a really good job so you've passed.

Me: I passed???!!

Prof. A: Yes, you've passed.

Me: (With joy gleaming in my eyes...had to restrain my leaping,lol) Thank you! Thank you so much!

All in all, I am so grateful to God for stepping in yet again. I couldn't have done this without Him! That is a FACT!! I'm so glad to finally have this behind me : )

That Ph.D. is inching closer towards me. Yessiiiirrrrr!!

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Get Me Through This Lord!!

So the oral portion of my Ph.D. qualifier's exam is this upcoming Monday. Every time I think about it, my heart literally starts to beat faster and I get this queasy feeling in my stomach. In fact, last night I only got 1 hr of sleep (not because I was up late studying), but because I'm so anxious about this exam that its robbing both my AM and PM hours = MY LIFE!!

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed that you're discouraged to study something even before you've picked up the book. There is just so much material and so little time and I really am trying not to psych myself out. My friends and family keep telling me that they know I'm going to do just fine. My question is...why don't I feel that way right now? Sometimes, I think that the intensity of this whole process is lost on someone who hasn't gone through it so it becomes easier to say things like that.

In any case, as a Christian, I must hold fast to the promise that God will not give me more than I can bear, that I can do all things through Him that strengthens me and most importantly that He has not given me the spirit of fear! Lord knows I need His help in accepting these facts and making them personally my own. I will be praising His name when this stage is done and I can officially be called a Ph.D. candidate.

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Memorial Day

So... it really is not cool to be celebrating memorial day by yourself, at home, writing your proposal for your PhD qualifier's exam. I just thought I should let that be known! *sigh* Hopefully I can finish it before the NBA playoffs game comes on tonight between the Lakers and Denver. We shall see...

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1st Year is Behind Me!!

Wow! I can't believe that my first year in graduate school has been completed. Through all the hyperventilation of "I wish I accepted that job offer!", "What in the world have I gotten myself into!", "Am I really capable of handling all this"...my first year has gone by and I feel like I've actually learned a significant amount of information! I have to attribute all of this to God because He was truly the source of my strength at time when I felt my weakest.

Now I must continue my preparations for the Ph.D. qualifier's examination this summer. I have to turn in a written proposal and go through an hour and a half oral defense regarding my submitted proposal. Talk about nerve-wrecking! However, I know that the same God that brought me through my first year of grad school will take me through this summer as well!

Alrighty...one year closer to that Ph.D. - The future Dr. T! : )

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I'm an NSF Fellow!!!

I just had to share the great news. I am now officially a National Science Foundation Fellow! I received news this past weekend that I was awarded the fellowship which is considered a great honor for graduate students and also comes with a much improved stipend : ) I immediately thanked God when I read the news! In fact, I had to reread the email a couple times to make sure I a) wasn't half-dreaming b) wasn't misreading and that I had actually been given honorable mention status, lol.

So with that, I'm feeling a bit more motivated as this semester from down under winds down (interesting how the workload simultaneously "winds up" exponentially!). This motivation is much needed as I have a mock NIH proposal due in class tomorrow. It's not finished yet..but we're getting there : )

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Encouraging article for those good ole PhD students

A short article that I found a bit encouraging today after feeling like how the above graph (from PhD Comics) illustrates...

"PhD...What They Don't Tell You!'

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Welcome to Research!

This is definitely one phrase I'm starting to get weary of hearing! Let me give you some of examples of where it has come up:

Case 1

Me: Wait, was I supposed to use the distilled PEG to mix with the MeCl??

Labmate: Yea, sorry I didn't make that too clear in the protocol

Me: Oh goodness...now I'm going to have to redistill my solution and start back at step 2. 4 hours of work down the drain!

Labmate: Welcome to research! : )

Case 2

Me: These gels are taking a bit long to form, how long do they usually take you?

Labmate: Oh about 10-15 minutes

Me: Really?? Mine take like 30-40 minutes

Labmate: Well are you making new initiator solution for every polymerization?

Me: Umm, no. No one told me about that. I thought you could make a batch and it would last you several days. That means I'm going to have to redo all the samples I've made this semester for my measurements!!

Labmate: Welcome to research! : )

Case 3

Labmate: Hey, something happened with the measurement of your samples on the DSC. The machine started acting weird for no reason.

Maeling: Are you kidding? (This was an experiment I have to let run overnight)

Labmate: Yea, this machine is a little ornery sometimes. Welcome to research! : )

All I have to say is...Research, why must you treat me so! What did I do to you?!! Can we start over on the right foot....PLEASE!!!!!

Just had to vent : )

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Innovation is Key!

So one thing I've learned about the major differences between graduate and undergraduate training is how they train you to think. In my undergraduate career, we were expected to study the information presented and demonstrate that understanding by doing homework sets and answering questions on exams...all of which the answers were already known by the professor. In graduate school, particularly for the PhD, you are still presented with information, but with that information you are expected to use it in a way to solve problems that currently do not have a solution known by anyone! This means that in order to solve these types of problems, you also have to approach them in ways that haven't been tried before in order to yield new information.

I must say that this is one of the areas that has been hard for me to transition into. Right now, I'm being required to write two proposals, detailing new experiments that are designed to solve current problems in the area of biomaterials. Its so frustrating because every time I think that I have come up with a new idea, I do some more searching of the literature and it has already been done! It can be very discouraging, but I'm reminded that I have a personal connection with the Creator of this world who also was intimately involved in the design of the human body. With Him on my side, I know I can trust that He will lead me into paths of thinking that will produce groundbreaking ideas in my areas of research. I just have to TRUST, be PATIENT, and continue doing my job of DILIGENTLY STUDYING : )

These texts have especially been of encouragement to me over the the past couple of weeks:

Jeremiah 33:3 

Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

Ephesians 3:20

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

Lamentations 3: 24-26

 24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;

       therefore I will wait for him."

 25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,

       to the one who seeks him;

 26 it is good to wait quietly

       for the salvation of the LORD

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One semester down!!

Well well well...Fall 2008 has past and I'm now in the midst of the Spring 2009 semester. I can't believe how much material was covered last semester and how much of it I understood by the end of the semester! That was a miracle. 

I really enjoyed working in the biomedical engineering (BME) lab last semester. Definitely picked up some useful skills for my research including polymer synthesis, reading journal articles critically, hydrogel (polymers that absorb water) degradation studies, presenting research for lab meetings and a ton of other things! I also had the "wonderful" experience of applying for a National Science Foundation Graduate Fellowship. It will only have been a wonderful experience if I am awarded the fellowship because boy was preparing that application a project in itself! I almost missed the announcement of the elected president on Nov. 4, 2008 because I was up late working on my application. I'll find out in March if I am awarded one. If I am, I will be sure to put up a new post giving advice on how to successfully prepare an application for that fellowship!!

To help maintain my sanity, during the middle of last semester I decided to join a young adult choir at the church I attend. That really helped, since I was able to fellowship with other people my age, some who are in graduate school as well. In any case, I love to sing and it really helps to relieve my stress!! 

So I'm taking two classes this semester, but my time spent in the lab has increased exponentially this semester! I don't think I've quite found the right balance between study time for classes and research time yet. I need to find it soon though with exams coming up starting next week! This semester, all of us 1st year grad students have our lovely qualifying exams looming over our heads. The qualifying exams take place this summer and basically consist of each of us defending our proposed research topics to a panel of faculty members that are ready to grill us with a plethora of questions!! My heart beat literally increases twofold everytime I start thinking about that! 

Well, no more venting for tonight...have an exam to study for!! Kinetics of phase transformations...woohoo!!! : )

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