"Death and Birth of a Vision" by Os Hillman

I was so encouraged by this devotional thought that a friend shared with me this morning that I couldn't help but share it with others as well : )

Today's Prayer
Dear Jesus, You are the key to my happiness. You are the key to my life. You are the key to my future. I have heard You knocking and I'm opening the door. Please come into my heart and guide my every thought and move. Bless me and make me a blessing to others. In Your precious name I pray, Amen.

Death and Birth of a Vision
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1, by Os Hillman

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." - John12:24

Almost every significant thing God births He allows to die before the vision is fulfilled in His own way.

-Abraham had a vision of being the father of a great nation (birth). Sarah was barren and became too old to have children (death). God gave Abraham and Sarah a son in their old age. He became the father of a great nation (fulfillment).

-Joseph had a vision that he would be a great leader and that many would bow down to him (birth). Joseph's brothers sold him to some merchants and he became a slave. Later he was falsely condemned to spend his years in prison (death). God allowed Joseph to interpret the dreams of the butler and baker and later the king, whereupon, he was made a ruler in the land (fulfillment).

-Moses had a vision of leading his people out of the bondage ofEgypt (birth). Pharaoh as well as his own people drove Moses out of Egypt after Moses' first attempt to relieve their bondage (death). God gave Moses signs and wonders to convince Pharaoh to free the people and bring them out of Egypt and into the Promised Land (fulfillment).

-The disciples had a vision of establishing the Kingdom of Godwith Jesus (birth). The very ones He came to save killed Jesus, and the disciples saw Him buried in a tomb (death). God raised Jesus from the dead, and the disciples performed great miracles until the gospel had spread through all the world (fulfillment).

-A grain of wheat has a "vision" of reproducing itself and many more grains of wheat (birth). The grain dies in the ground (death). A harvest springs up out of the very process of "death" in the ground (fulfillment).

Has God given you a vision that is yet unfulfilled? If that vision is born of God, He will raise it up in His own way. Do not try to raise the vision in your own strength. Like Moses, who tried to fulfill the vision of freeing the Hebrews by killing the Egyptian, it will only fail. But wait on your heavenly Father to fulfill the vision. Then you will know that it was His vision when He fulfills it in the way only He can do. 

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Much Needed Update

So it has been an extremely long time since I've written on this blog. There are two main reasons for this:

1) My natural hair-related blog and YouTube channel have grown to dimensions that I never thought was possible and so most of my free time is spent updating those avenues.
2) For the past several months, every time I thought about updating this blog, I wasn't motivated to because I felt it wouldn't be anything positive and would be more like venting which probably wouldn't have been that pleasant to read.

So with that said, I'll try to give a brief update of what has happened since Oct. 2009.

So after my qualifier's exam, I felt like I had more time to truly dedicate to my research, which had been postponed for a bit to prepare for my oral presentation/defense. I have an undergrad who is working for me, and is very dedicated so we were actually able to get quite a bit done during the fall semester. My advisor encouraged us to submit an abstract for a biomaterials conference (boy was that a process in and of itself!)

Writing an abstract is much more complex than the average person would believe. You would think that a 1 page description of your research is something that you could type up in an afternoon, but is quite the contrary! Summing up several experiments, making sure you hit the key points, and including graphs/images that convey your main points is a very time-consuming process and can take several weeks to perfect (especially if it's your first one!). By the end of it, I felt like I had written a serious paper with the amount of time I spent working on it, lol.

Well, the hard work paid off (which would not have been possible without God) and my abstract was accepted! I will be doing a poster presentation at the conference next month and I'm looking forward to my first conference as a graduate student.

The other main news is that I've officially gone through my proposal presentation! I had to prepare a written document outlining what I plan to research during the course of my stay here at the university and present it to my advisors and committee members. That was followed by an oral presentation that was made public to the entire university. Preparing for this was one of the most stressful periods I have ever experienced! In fact, one of my committee members was out of town when I gave the presentation so I actually have to present to him when he returns. In addition to that, I have to make some revisions to my proposal document so I'm not officially done with this proposal process. Once I get my signatures from all of my committee members on my Ph.D. candidacy form and it is turned in to my apartment, I will be breathing a HUGE sigh of relief!

I must say though, having the main oral presentation over with is still a GREAT feeling! I was so nervous but I invited some of my classmates from my program and from other departments to ensure I would have "some" smiling faces in the room,lol. It can be very intimidating presenting to those who already have their Ph.D's in various areas, and are EXTREMELY knowledgeable in their fields when you are just starting your journey to get to where they are. Once again, I know that it was only by the grace of God that I was able to make it through the presentation without throwing up in the middle of it or even fainting! I get soooo nervous when it comes to public speaking! Hopefully in my next update, I can gladly say that I am OFFICIALLY a Ph.D. candidate working towards my dissertation in my next update once I get all my committee member signatures : )

In other news, I finally get to attend my FIRST National Society of Black Engineers Conference! I'm very excited about this because I was a NSBE member all throughout college and even served on the E-board, but never had the chance to go to a conference. The conference this year is in Toronto so that's definitely a plus for me as I've never been to Canada! Another plus is that this is an all-expenses paid trip since I'm going to actually represent and recruit for my university. Talk about a blessing and a privilege! : ) That trip is actually at the end of the month so it gives me something to look forward to and work towards.

I guess I'll end this post with an important lesson that I've learned so far in my Ph.D. journey: BALANCE. Maintaing a balance between your social and academic life is a MUST if you want to retain your sanity!!!

Hopefully its not another several months before I have the chance to update again...

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